Highfire : a novel / Eoin Colfer.

In the days of yore, he flew the skies and scorched angry mobsnow he hides from swamp tour boats and rises only with the greatest reluctance from his Laz-Z-Boy recliner. Laying low in the bayou, this once-magnificent fire breather has been reduced to lighting Marlboros with nose sparks, swilling Absolut in a Flashdance T-shirt, and binging Netflix in a fishing shack. For centuries, he struck fear in hearts far and wide as Wyvern, Lord Highfire of the Highfire Eyrienow he goes by Vern. However...he has survived, unlike the rest. He is the last of his kind, the last dragon. Still, no amount of vodka can drown the loneliness in his molten core. Verns glory days are long gone. Or are they? A canny Cajun swamp rat, young Everett "Squib" Moreau does what he can to survive, trying not to break the heart of his saintly single mother. Hes finally decided to work for a shady smugglerbut on his first night, he witnesses his boss murdered by a crooked constable. Regence Hooke is not just a dirty cop, hes a despicable human beingwho happens to want Squibs momma in the worst way. When Hooke goes after his hidden witness with a grenade launcher, Squib finds himself airlifted from certain death bya dragon? The swamp can make strange bedfellows, and rather than be fried alive so the dragon can keep his secret, Squib strikes a deal with the scaly apex predator. He can act as his go-between (aka familiar)fetch his vodka, keep him company, etc.in exchange for protection from Hooke. Soon the three of them are careening headlong toward a combustible confrontation. Theres about to be a fiery reckoning, in which either dragons finally go extinctor Verns glory days are back. A triumphant return to the genre-bending fantasy that Eoin Colfer is so well known for, Highfire is an effortlessly clever and relentlessly funny tour-de-force of comedy and action.